Anxiety about a partner's sexual history is a common thing, moreso in sexually repressed societies, but everywhere. Yes it is immature, but it is also understandable, and I think you deserve a lot of credit for recognizing it as a problem and asking for help.
The first thing I would consider is how you view sexuality, in particular female sexuality. There's a good chance you've been told your entire life that women are properly virginal and innocent, and you are dealing with some serious cognitive dissonance as you love this woman who has slept with someone else. How can you love someone who betrays what your culture calls lovable? You seem to understand that your emotional reaction to her sexuality is dumb, which is why you're asking for help in how to adjust it. This is not an easy thing to do. You've been taught your whole life to view women's sexuality in a particular way. You have a habitual way of thinking, and habits, especially emotional habits, are hard to change. But they are changeable.
First of all, forgive yourself for feeling this way. Yes it's screwed up, but you're handling it pretty well and you didn't ask to feel this way. It's just happening. So don't blame yourself.
Second, you need to talk with her about it. You need to share with her your feelings. When you discuss your feelings, make sure it is clear that this is not about her. This is about you, and you think she should know, and you'd like her to understand. This is a part of you you're not proud of, but it's there, and you're working on it. "I'm sorry I've reacted this way to your sexual past. I have some cultural baggage associated with sex I'm working through. It has nothing to do with my feelings for you. It's just me, I know it's wrong, and I'm working on it, but I feel the need to let you know." This is something that's out of your comfort zone and you didn't even realize it about yourself until recently. When you apologize, you should not grovel or beg for forgiveness or some such thing. Just apologize, acknowledge that the way you're reacting to sexuality is a cultural habit that is wrong, and that you are working on it. That's all that is needed.
Third, listen to what she has to say and how things are from her perspective, how she feels about sex, and so on. Ask questions. Note when you feel defensive or uncomfortable. Acknowledge the feeling, don't have an outburst over it. Let it inform you.
Last, as you encounter these feelings in the future, consciously remind yourself of what you learned in your conversation. She's done nothing wrong and has been nothing but faithful to you, she loves you very much, the time you spend together is special, and that is what matters. The cultural stuff panicking over virginity is bullshit and that voice in your head needs to shut the fuck up. I would encourage you to be just that forceful with that voice. Let the voice that is glad and cherishes the present time you have with her win, because in years to come, that is going to be what matters in your memory.
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